On Top of Her Game | Tickin' T.O. | Stomp | True Morality | Oily Ole | God's Big Tent

On Top of Her Game

The wittiest, the most observant: I would just like to say that it is such a pleasure to see that Andrea Grimes has finally been given a permanent spot in the "Boy's Club" pages of my favorite free weekly. Andrea is one of the wittiest, most observant and plain old intelligent writers on staff at the Dallas Observer, and I've been loving her new column. For lack of a better phrase, this girl just keeps it real. Her story earlier this year on spoiled-rotten Highland Park party kids was a highlight for me personally (even if she didn't catch the little silver-spooned heathens in the act), and I found myself laughing out loud at her most recent story about the poor excuse for a dating scene we have around here and her personal never-ending quest to conquer it ("Venus Claptrap," August 10). Simply put, I'm a fan. And if she dropped the "a" from her first name, I might even want to date her. She's funny, has good taste in music and she even hates the same things as me! (Addison--although The Colony kinda sucks, too, doesn't it?) Thank you, Ms. Grimes. Thank you for representing the ladies and for reminding me why I live in Oak Cliff and date only when I'm out of town!

Catherine Montgomery

Dallas

Advice for Girl on Top: How to NOT end up as "Swami Crazy Old Cat Lady": Jump into life, get your feet wet! At 40, I took up skydiving. Talk about getting out of the house! For 10 years I've jumped, played, partied and traveled, having great times with good friends, having sex as I choose and getting on first load Sunday mornings to have a great day skydiving. I'm still contentedly single, have a cool dog and, yes, a cat. Right now the dog's lightning bolt mohawk motif is blue, I have 850 skydives, and I own two rigs.

Another thing: I also learned how to flame-throw. This alone insures one lots of party invitations and weeds the timid out of the dating pool.

Last, don't be shy about robbing the cradle. Mrs. Robinson had a great thing going. Who cares if I'm having sex with someone whose parents weren't even born when JFK was assassinated? Having things and history in common can be highly overrated!

My advice? Quit meditating and get out of the house. Go skydive. Nothing like two miles of open air and being harnessed tightly to a tandem master/skygod! Go girl, NOW!

Kaitlyn

Dallas

Blunderful:

This article ("Venus Claptrap") is hilarious! I'm not single, but I know if I was I'd be blundering through dates at about the same rate as this article documents. That's what I did before I met my husband, anyway. So funny...thanks.

I also really liked your Beautiful Room article ("Eye of the Beholder," by Andrea Grimes, June 29). I wish I could be a fly on the wall at that place. Hilarious!

Mikal Beth

Celina

Tickin' T.O.

Looooong fuse: Terrell Owens isn't ready to blow, Mr. Whitt ("Ready to Blow," by Richie Whitt, August 10). He is on the injured list and isn't attending practice. End of story.

I did, however, enjoy the way you used "tick...tick...tick" to begin, end and throughout your 50,000-word article. That was really great shtick...shtick...shtick.

Tony Garrett

Mesquite

It's all your fault: You sportswriters and reporters are a bunch of dickless, jealous white guys who seem to be trying to goad this young man into having low self-esteem or push him to react to this crap you keep on--and keep on--reporting about him. There are other things going on in the NFL worth your attention, I would think. I for one hope Mr. Owens and all the athletes you guys seem to focus on so negatively have read the book Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete by William C. Rhoden.

Jazzy

Dallas

Stomp

From Elaine Liner's "Fractured Fairy Tales" (August 3): "DeGarmo, as pretty and pudgy as a summer plum, sings at two pitches, loud and louder. And though she throws herself into each number like she still thinks she has a chance against Fantasia Barrino, you'll find yourself wishing a big foot would drop out of the sky and squash her flat."