No mere “slithery little sneaky snake,” the West African banded cobra is venomous and extremely dangerous. Its bite “could be fatal depending on your body type,” according to Hanna Battah of Fox 4, who also reported that Parkland Memorial Hospital was preparing to treat a potential bite case.
Grand Prairie Animal Services and the Grand Prairie Police Department are looking for the snake with help from the Dallas Zoo, which is dispelling worrisome rumors left and right. Laura Wandel, the associate curator for birds and ectotherms at the Dallas Zoo, told WFAA it is highly unlikely — but not impossible — that the snake will either reproduce asexually or crossbreed with a native Texan snake. According to WFAA, the Dallas Zoo has antivenin for a cobra bite case.
The snake, meanwhile, hasn’t even gone into hiding. Instead, the Grand Prairie Cobra has set up a Twitter account, as well as a TikTok and Facebook, where she’s quickly racked up north of 5,000 followers. The woke snake first used Twitter as a social justice platform — as one does — to decry the speciesism that’s caused authorities to send "12" after her, but not on the any of the other hundreds of critters that move to Dallas-Fort Worth every day. Via Twitter, the cobra also asked for help apartment hunting, noting that any potential pad must be on the first floor. Apparently, the snake has a taste for the suburbs.
Apartment hunting today. What do y’all recommend ?? It has to be on the first floor tho. #dfw #GPCobra
— Grand Prairie Cobra (@CobraGrand) August 5, 2021
Whatever the case, the Grand Prairie Cobra has impeccable music taste, having revealed she is a diehard Selena stan. Moreover, she likes the right kind of country music. In response to a tweet from the 93.1 Katy Country radio station, the snake said she’s a fan of Townes Van Zandt, Dwight Yoakam, Charley Crockett, Joshua Ray Walker, Colter Wall and Charlie Robison, in that order. She also tweeted the refrain from “Guitars, Cadillacs” on Monday morning.
The cobra is also a supporter or Dallas sports teams. Last week, she shouted out Luka’s Olympic triple double. This week, she jokingly asked whether it’s more difficult to find hope for the Dallas Cowboys than it is to find her hiding spot — before seriously asking whether anybody would host her to watch the Cowboys play this season.
So far, the Grand Prairie Cobra has enjoyed a pair of truck rides as well as the Grand Prairie rabbits, which she rated “busssssin’ bussssin’,” and the Grand Prairie rabbit food court. She’s even fallen in love. But the cobra will need to be careful if she wants to stay alive for long. She and the Grand Prairie Mongoose have challenged each other to a fight, and snake experts are on her tail. But having already taken down the Grand Prairie Tlacuache/Opossum, and with a rattler on her side, it looks like she’ll be just fine. Unless the heat gets her.
