Best Places To Eat When You’re High

Everybody must eat. And the munchies are real. The Smithsonian Magazine explains that THC "appears to increase our sensitivity to scents and flavors by using naturally occurring neural networks to convince the brain it's starving."

Great news. There are plenty of places around Dallas to satiate that starvation and settle those voracious neurons. Do it for science. Or something. 

Maple Leaf Diner’s Pizza Burger

12817 Preston Road

Pizza in burger form? Yeah, this here is peak stoner grub. This one-of-a-kind burger creation at Maple Leaf Diner comes topped with Bolognese sauce, pepperoni, bacon, banana and bell peppers, a mini-brick of fried mozzarella and breaded mushrooms, with marinara on the side. And, yes, it’s a burger, so somewhere among all that is a fat, juicy beef patty cooked to order. This item is so wild that it was once featured on Travel Channel’s Food Paradise.

Plomo Quesadilla Bar

1802 McMillan Ave.

Plomo is a late-night quesadilla operation that slings munchy-friendly specialty quesadillas, many of which are named for former narcos and outlaws (Pablo Escobar, El Chapo, drug-running dictator Manuel Noriega and Jesse James, to name a few). And Plomo embraces bud smokers. Last August, when E-Bar Tex-Mex made waves for refusing to service anyone who reeked of weed, Plomo posted on their socials, “If you have the smell of marijuana on you, we will 1000% serve you.” Any of their quesadillas would do well under a chronic-induced haze, but we’d recommend the Vasquez (Caribbean jerk chicken, mango, jalapeno, sriracha and cilantro) or Rick Ross (chopped brisket, avocado, jalapeno, salsa verde and pickled red onion). And order it “dirty.” Don’t ask, just do it.

Jollibee’s Sweetened Hot Dog Spaghetti

4703 Greenville Ave.

One could argue this should be eaten only when high (if at all). High af, for that matter. But we swear, it’s not as egregious as it sounds. Jollibee’s, a popular Filipino fast-food fried chicken chain, has a wildly different take on spaghetti (spaghetti purists need stay far away). The tomato sauce is noticeably sweeter than traditional spaghetti. Then, it’s topped with hot dog slices and ham. Yeah. This wild-ass spaghetti sounds like something a frat boy concocted in a noon wake-and-bake haze after a weekend bender. But spark up and have an open mind – you might be surprised how much better it tastes than it sounds (or looks).

Son of a Butcher Slider Bar

2026 Greenville Ave.

OK, after you’re nice and gummied out strolling the Lower Greenville strip, do this: Stop by Son of a Butcher for a pair of sliders. Go for the PB&J (blackberry jam, crunchy peanut butter, bacon, caramelized onion and a slice of American cheese) or Frikka Tikka (fried chicken, paneer cheese, cilantro, basil, pickled red onion and raita lime mayo served with a spicy tikka sauce). And you definitely need a side for those seemingly incurable munchies, so get yourself an order of loaded brisket fries (BBQ-sauced smoked brisket and four melted cheeses over fries) and wash it all down with a cookie dough or chocolate brownie milkshake.

Old Hag's Pizza & Pasta

1315 W. Davis St.

Not just because it's open until 3 a.m. every night of the week, but Old Hag's Pizza & Pasta is gluttonous and satisfying. The fettuccine formaggio put us in a food coma. It's got homemade alfredo sauce, meatballs, feta cheese, provolone, romano and mozzarella. If you need pizza, options like the Mulberry Special should do the trick; it comes with Italian sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, hamburger and mozzarella cheese.

Zalat Pizza

Multiple Locations

Another late night spot, Zalat is open until midnight Sunday through Wednesday, 2 a.m. on Thursday and 4 a.m. on Friday and Saturday. Plus the hand-tossed New York-style pizza is loaded with things like spicy ranch, bacon onion jam and hot honey, adding so much flavor to these pies. The Pho Shizzle comes with chicken, a hoison and Srirach swirl, with basil and cilantro. Even the basic Classic Bianca with alfredo, mozzarella and garlic is so good.

Insomnia Cookies

Multiple Locations

Ever order cookies late at night and fall asleep before they arrive? Neither have we, but what a fun surprise that would be to find a box of cookies by your door in the morning, courtesy of Insomnia Cookies. Warm cookies delivered until 3 a.m. is a downright dirty proposition, which we're here for. The double chocolate mint is a favorite. If they're not warm when they arrive, pop them in the over or air fryer for a minute. So worth it. (We're anti-microwave here, just FYI.)

Shady’s Burgers & Brewhaha

9661 Audelia Road (Lake Highlands)

A former Dallas Observer Reader’s Choice award winner (for best burgers), Shady’s has an abundance of fixes to cure your case of the munchies. But one burger in particular we’d recommend is Shady’s New Pig on the Block. This calorie-loaded burger creation comes topped with BBQ pork, a cheddar-stuffed onion ring, bacon, lettuce and pickles. And if your munchy symptoms aren’t cured after all that, grab yourself a birthday cake shake (which you can have spiked with a liquor of your choice).

TwoRows Classic Grill

711 Central Expressway, Allen

If your munchies make you yearn for all things fried and greasy, this spot in the 'burbs has everything you need. TwoRows’ appetizer menu boasts a signature Honey Pepper Bacon, fried jalapenos, loaded fries and quite possibly the biggest mozzarella sticks (or logs, as the menu aptly calls them) we’ve ever seen. We recommend going with your equally baked friends and ordering one of everything for the table.

Hunky’s

3930 Cedar Springs Road and 321 N. Bishop Ave.

In terms of stoner-friendly junk food, Hunky’s has the goods. We’re talking 23 types of burgers, nine chicken sandwiches, three hot dog variations, Frito chili pie, the gamut of friend appetizers and your pick of cakes, pies, ice cream and milkshakes for dessert. Bonus points to the location in Oak Lawn for playing ABBA every time we’ve been. The vibes are truly immaculate.

Voodoo Doughnut

1806 Greenville Ave., No. 120

The fact that it’s a doughnut shop that’s open late (3 a.m. on weekends!) is enough to earn it a spot on this list. In addition to having every flavor of doughnut you’ve ever heard of (and many you haven’t), Voodoo has a knack for giving its treats silly names. If you’re the type who thinks everything’s funnier when you’re high, you’ll get a kick out of The Homer (a strawberry-frosted doughnut straight out of The Simpsons), the Cock N’ Balls (a doughnut-shaped like its name and filled with Bavarian cream) and, of course, the Maple Blazer Blunt (sprinkled with cinnamon and red sprinkles on the tip).