Actually, don't stop reading if you want some hard data to back up what your sweat-soaked, searing flesh is telling you. According to a recent report from CNN and the International Institute for Environment and Development, the last half century or so has seen steady growth in the number of "extreme heat" days in the city — days in which the high temperature hit 95 degrees or hotter. In 1976, Dallas sweated through 46 days of extreme heat. Last year, that number was 72, an increase of 26 days.
But take heart, denizens of Big D. Things could be worse. You could live in Arlington, the land of massive, bubbling parking lots where the number grew from 46 days in 1976 to 80 last year.
Through Aug. 23 this year, Dallas has hit or exceeded 95 degrees on 55 days at Love Field, according to records from Weather Underground. Are we likely to match or top last year's 72 days of extreme heat? Well, things are not looking good (unless you're a lizard). The most recent seasonal outlook from the National Weather service says to expect hotter-than-normal temperatures throughout September, October and November.
Sigh. Listen, Mother Nature, it's not like we ever really expect to be singing "Over the River Through the Woods" on Thanksgiving Day, but it'd be nice someday to sit down to a turkey dinner wearing something other than board shorts and sandals. Or at least we could ask our uncle to put on a damn shirt.
There's more bad news for the Lone Star State. Under the heading "heat is bigger in Texas" — and don't we all love that bigger in Texas canard when it refers to our misery? — the CNN report notes: Over the long term, big cities in Texas, Arizona and inland California have been worst-hit, in terms of the rise in extremely hot days.
"Of the 10 cities that recorded the biggest increase since the mid-70s, seven are in Texas.
"In 1976, San Antonio experienced one week’s worth of extreme heat, but by 2023 it had jumped to nearly 13 weeks — an increase of 1,276%.
"Austin went from less than three weeks to more than 12, while Houston went from just over one week to more than seven."
A rapidly expanding population and spreading cities with their "heat island" effects could be contributing to the rise in Texas, but please don't tell Gov. Greg Abbott. He's already angry enough over the tide of immigrants coming here.
As hot as things are in Texas, we're a winter wonderland compared with Arizona, home to the three U.S. cities with the most extreme heat days: Phoenix came in at 158 days last year, up 22 from 1976; Mesa had 141 days, up 14; and Tucson scored 132 days, up by 53.
We'd point out that it's a dry heat, but we have friends and family living in Arizona and would just as soon not find any rat poison in our turkey some Thanksgiving Day.